How To Talk To A Childhood Sexual Abuse Survivor
Every story is valid, and our pain isn’t a competition
Trigger Warning: childhood s**ual abuse
I’ve never had a good experience when it comes to talking about what happened to me.
I was around ten years old. It only happened once; I remember freezing as he groped my chest and tried to force my hand to return those uncomfortable, dangerous touches. At the time, I remember feeling confused and unable to move, but I wasn’t frightened, and the only reason why was because I didn’t understand what he was doing. It wasn’t until I hit my teen years and was on antidepressants, suffering from severe depression and anxiety coupled with flashbacks that I realized what happened. I was eighteen when I finally said those four words I had dreaded to my mother and sister: ‘He touched me too.’
There was no textbook titled “How To Deal With Pedophilia In The Family” to help us navigate these highly abnormal circumstances. And at the time, none of us understood how trauma and grooming worked — it gaslights you into believing you’re wrong, that you should feel ashamed for what happened, and it silences you.
As a survivor that has stopped being silent, however, I have learned the hard way that I cannot always trust people with my story, even the…